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how taryn was born

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This is a story from Tarnie's point of view. (Tarnie is my mother)




the teacher tells us to pull out our math books. i flip to page 666. but I suddenly feel this burning pain in my finger. i listen to my heart beat as i stop breathing. i realize the cause of the pain. a finger cut.

my finger is gushing out blood, and someone walks by and slips on my blood. i scream and my teacher whips me on my butt.

i kick my teacher in the face.

suddenly green ectoplasm oozes out of my now-infected finger.
i faint due to all this pain.

i die due to the infection

i suddenly hear the angels singing
the clouds open and light shines down on the earth
faith in humanity is restored
i hear jesus calling my name

"tarnie" he says to me
"jesus, is that you?" i say.
"yes, my dear. you are in the heavens"
"but how?" i reply.
"your papercut has put you to death. you have no worries here now. you are no longer pregnant"

i cry with joy. no more kids to take care of.
"who is the father?" i ask
"shrek" he says.
Posted Jun 30, 14 · OP
-infinity/10 still a worse love story then twilight.
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Posted Jul 1, 14
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i tried my hardest to make this story amazing ;[

u no like my writing?
Posted Jul 1, 14 · OP
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the only thing that i undestanded from this is your intellegence level which is as it seems negative
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Posted Jul 2, 14
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no my intelligence level is negetive infinity x infinity
Posted Jul 2, 14 · OP
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wrote:
no my intelligence level is negetive infinity x infinity

f8b78dd7d8f127e8f29c6690753d884bbf40847cd8964975a47e3585a6f54fe8.jpg
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Posted Jul 2, 14
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wrote:
wrote:
no my intelligence level is negetive infinity x infinity

f8b78dd7d8f127e8f29c6690753d884bbf40847cd8964975a47e3585a6f54fe8.jpg
well im both
Posted Jul 3, 14 · OP
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Posted Jul 3, 14
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it was so amazing that you threw up in amazement
Posted Jul 3, 14 · OP
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Wow you need to have better writing :d I got bored in summerschool -.-

'Twas the night before christmas, and the care bears at last, started debating about future and past.
Angel to Angel, one at a time, finished their arguments speaking a rhyme.
The debates were settled, and all through the room, that rang through the house, two very loud booms.
As it tore out the roof, ripping their heads, the very large bear, saw some angels had fled.
"where do we go?", the angels soon said, "Down here in the basement!" and popped out his head.
They ran down the stairs, into a dark room, and thought they would be eaten, and it was too soon.
As the monster followed, ripping out the trapdoor, it jumped down the stairs letting out a loud roar.
The angels backed up cautiously, into a corner, and felt something warm, it was Christopher Dorner!
He stepped from the shadows, where he did linger, shot at the care bear, and off went its finger!
Dorner pumped back his shotgun, tight in his hand, and yelled to the huge bear, "THIS IS YOUR LAST STAND!".
His hands were steady, and the care bear did roar, he shot his gun, and went the bear to the floor.
Dorner and the angels saw an entrance to the sewer, and just as they could tell, Dorner was a good-doer!
It was very murky, and smelled of death, the care bears exclaimed, "Dorners the best!".
The angels had been saved, from the bear known from lore, just then dorner said, "you know there are more..".
They saw a dim light, and ran on the floor, then turned the knob to their newly found door.
The entered with much ease, and snuck slowly with care, as right in front of there faces, a bright colored care bear!
It said to them softly, "take what you need. We have everything to make your foes bleed.
Axes, swords and knives galore, as well as a few guns scattered on the floor.
They took a few weapons, maybe a few more, thanked the blue care bear, and left through the door.
The sky turned red, and the clouds gathered more, descending from the sky, the Satan Bear Floored.
Its size was large, and covered in black, as it walked on the pavement it started to crack.
As Dorner ordered them, the angels raised their swords, and up from the ground, rose satans large horde.
In one swift movement, the satan bear took its hand, and swept away the angels, crushing them on land.
As it was only Dorner, in the middle of the street, Satan devoured him, and had never been beat
The end?

-alexbam1
Posted Jul 3, 14
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