This is a story from Tarnie's point of view. (Tarnie is my mother)
the teacher tells us to pull out our math books. i flip to page 666. but I suddenly feel this burning pain in my finger. i listen to my heart beat as i stop breathing. i realize the cause of the pain. a finger cut.
my finger is gushing out blood, and someone walks by and slips on my blood. i scream and my teacher whips me on my butt.
i kick my teacher in the face.
suddenly green ectoplasm oozes out of my now-infected finger.
i faint due to all this pain.
i die due to the infection
i suddenly hear the angels singing
the clouds open and light shines down on the earth
faith in humanity is restored
i hear jesus calling my name
"tarnie" he says to me
"jesus, is that you?" i say.
"yes, my dear. you are in the heavens"
"but how?" i reply.
"your papercut has put you to death. you have no worries here now. you are no longer pregnant"
i cry with joy. no more kids to take care of.
"who is the father?" i ask
"shrek" he says.
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