August 2018
hey people, so this post is long overdue. i know only like 10 people will see this, but i want to clear somethings up with people and say a few things so that some people will stop asking things, and i can finally get everything off my shoulders. so before i start this i want to say i don't mean to be a whiny baby, i don't want attention, and i don't want to sound like a victim. there are thousands, if not millions of people on this earth who i know have it much worse than me. so let me start this off. if you think this might make you upset or make me sound stupid, it's best to click off my wall now.
1. to start this off, i want to vent my feelings here because this feels like a safe place and to say something to others. this is something i've been really uncomfortable talking about, and i want to say it all, so it doesn't come up in conversations anymore, and to stop hiding my feelings. exactly one year and a month ago my mom died of brain cancer. not only did this hurt just because i lost my mom but because she was sick for around 3 years which really affected her mind. i used to go to her with all my problems but the treatment really messed her up and we had a very, very rocky relationship. for some reason, i was just stupid and couldn't process the amount of drugs and therapies she was being put through, and simply put i was so mean to her, and i can't take that back. it's just everyday i wish i could go back in time and change so much with her. this is really just my venting part so maybe i can feel a little less clogged up by saying it in public for the first time.
2. living without a mom is really hard. first of all it changed my dad so, so much. perhaps it's hypocritical of me to say this but we don't have a strong connection anymore either. it's annoying because i can't talk to my mom about any of my problems and have a friend i can always talk to. my message to the few who will see this is please, please, no matter how hard your relationship might be with someone please try to be the better person and spend so much time with them. it's a very cliche thing to say and very hard to learn, but you don't appreciate things until you lose them. i would give anything i ever had or will have just to have one day where i could talk to my mom when she welcomed me home from school. i know most of you love your moms, but for those of you going through hard times please tell them you love them. i hate to sound like a victimized little person right now, but the least i could do is tell others not to make the same mistakes i did. of course i'm not forcing you to do anything because i know every situation is different but if you could even say hi them for me it would mean the world.
3. living without my mom also changes the way i see so much of the world. it's actually quite strange how much your mood shifts when you go through something like this. at different times i'm so happy to be on this planet, and other times i wonder why life can hurt so badly, and hurt people who are entirely innocent. it has made me try to be nice to people and be more positive, but in the early stages of losing her, i was very negative and honestly a little unstable. i still think about her every day. it has helped me try to be kinder to people and has helped me with my music, but it can make me a bit awkward sometimes. it's the worst feeling when i'll be playing with someone and somehow i get reminded of her, i how i can be embarassing. so i just wanted to say sorry to anyone i've made uncomfortable. of course, we're all people and have our moments, but i've been a bit strange in the past and even now.
4. so now to another major point. again, before i say this, i don't want to sound like a victim and people's actions against me were completely justified. i see that now. and i can't blame all of how i am based on losing my mom. so as many of you know, i used to be a trainee just one month after my mom died. i was only a trainee for a month though. everything about that time was wrong. what i did before during and after those times were just, so bad, stupid, and wrong. i dont expect much to change from this point and i feel dumb writing this, and i may not even post this part, but i'm really, really, really sorry to everyone i've ever even spoken to back then. i was just such a weird and rude person, and i can't take that back either.
so yeah, that's the end of my speech. i don't want to be in hiding anymore or hold back on what i'm thinking, so no matter how stupid i sound i just had to post this. congrats and thanks if you've made it to the bottom. so again, while this is mostly a venting post, i did end up giving some advice, but i want to remind everyone that you don't have to take it. i don't know everyone's situation and they're all probably very different from mine. i'm also writing this at like 1:00 in the morning so take it with a grain of salt. i hope everyone has a great day/night, and if you ever find yourself in need of help, i'm always here to talk as a real, true friend.
I mean, I know a lot of people say this, but I think that communication between the staff team and the community could be improved. But I'm not just talking about getting help when a hacker or something is in your game, and no one is responding, but also with some of the big decisions by the leadership team. While of course, it's fun to surprise the community with big changes and huge events, but when it comes to topics that could cause controversy, I feel like there should be a way to discuss it. While I understand taking away a lot of minigames was probably necessary, I would have appreciated some warning or way to know what was going on for a few reasons. Even though a lot of people might dislike a certain game, there is always a small group that may have become apart of Mineplex for it. I loved Snake and Sheep Quest, and again, and I understand that Mineplex probably had to cut down on the number of open servers, but I wish I could have had a week or two to play it before it would take a much longer time to find open games in Mixed Arcade.
I
So I realize that everytime an update comes out SOMEONE has a problem with it, but the kind of things I would like to be a little updated about is big changes that leadership knows will probably make a good amount of people upset. If Mineplex were coming out with a new game, then I would say it definitely should stay a surprise, who could possibly be upset with new and exciting content, and surprises like that are great! But when they cut and remove things, it would be good if the community could have some influence on it. The leadership would be able to make the final decisions and not be dictated by what the players say, but at least they would know what we think. I believe it would be helpful for a few reasons. The leadership team would know what WE want (Since we're the ones that make Mineplex a server), and if people complain about when the update happens leadership could say "We asked you for input and this is what we got." I know there's all the community teams like the Ideas team and stuff, but honestly, not everyone wants to join it. Some people want to say something but shouldn't have to go through such a long process to float an opinion out to Mineplex. Even if it were just a thread with a very basic or even vague outline of what was happening, anyone could reply with their thoughts, and the team would get a general idea of what the community is thinking. I'm not saying this because I'm afraid of getting warning posts, but I'm honestly not angry at the staff team or anyone in particular. This is just what I think could be improved.
just a heads up this is now my wall post AND forum post dump o3o
Hello everyone, so I usually don't put a lot of stuff on my wall but this is urgent.
I am officially renouncing life on this planet and moving to Kepler-22b. The other day a pesticide guy came to spray my backyard, and this man sprayed my entire garden with some witchery chemicals which I specifically asked him not to do. Why is this a problem? Because it's where my caterpillars were living. And God only knows how but the pesticide killed the plants too. So now I no longer have Herbert, Bertha, Egna, Shelby, and Fig Newton. This man is a murderer and I just hope he realizes he led the monarch butterfly population 5 innocent caterpillars closer to 0. And I can't even wait for more caterpillars BECAUSE MY PLANTS ARE DEAD
goodbye.
It was never my intention to hurt you or cause you pain.
Destiny conspired to drive this wedge between us,
And all I want is for this burden to be lifted.
I'm sorry.
It was never my intention to hurt you or cause you pain.
Destiny conspired to drive this wedge between us,
And all I want is for this burden to be lifted.
I'm sorry.
It was never my intention to hurt you or cause you pain.
Destiny conspired to drive this wedge between us,
And all I want is for this burden to be lifted.
I'm sorry.
[img]http://mp-su.com/l/60bd3254.gif[/img[/img]
you wonder why i don't talk to you anymore
but believe me when i say,
it's not that i don't want to.
it's just that everything i want to say,
i just can't say it anymore.
You're the one who broke my heart
you're the reason my worLd fell apArt
you're the one who made me cry
yet I'm still lovinG you and I don't know why.
You're the one who broke my heart
you're the reason my worLd fell apArt
you're the one who made me cry
yet I'm still lovinG you and I don't know why.
You're the one who broke my heart
you're the reason my worLd fell apArt
you're the one who made me cry
yet I'm still lovinG you and I don't know why.
June 2018
when you set your art as your pfp but you get self conscious so you post a bad mirror selfie instead (only bc you can't see my face I'm sad rip me)
May 2018
April 2018
Happy Earthday!!!
Happy Earthday to the five people that will see this! Just dropping by to say if you can, you should totally grow some flowers that attract honeybees (The poor things are on a decline and they could really use the help)! AND CATERPILLARS ARE GOING TO START APPEARING I AM SO EXCITED
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