I won't be on much once I get a hard-working job like a laborer/grafter, but I'll be on like I was before. But as soon as I get to Germany, I'll be on rarely, I'll be hanging out with Dominic, Krista and some of their mates
It's a shame. People still see me as the ruthless, unorthodox and over-bearing dumbass that I was.
Now that I'm being myself I seem to be avoided more and more. A lot of my workmates aren't comfortable talking to me, most of my friends don't want to get involved with me. The only people that do are my parents and some of my real friends.
I guess being me isn't what they wanted. But screw it, if they don't like me for who I am then it's their problem, I'm not putting on the asshole face just to please them. I'm proud that I'm emotional, and I'm happy to let everyone know it.
I've still got some great friends and someone very close to my heart, so screw anyone that disagrees with me.
But the biggest problem I have now is a goal I must reach, I'm happy to let you know that confidence isn't one of my strong points, and this is the reason I feel like I can't pursue it, I guess you could call it my own personal barrier.
It's time for me to get on with my life. Because of the people I've met here, I'm going to follow my heart, otherwise I'll be holding back the one thing that's stayed with me.
Dom, you're like a brother to me and a great friend, and you always have my back, which I've never had.
Rebel, you're a little werd but a good friend and always looking on the upside of life, which most people don't do. So kudos to that.
There's a special mention for someone in particular, but I don't think I'm ready yet.
It's annoying doing this over my phone but I wanted to say it.
I'm tired of pretending, tired of being the asshole, tired of being looked at as brutal but most of all I'm tired of looking at couples fighting and them not realising how lucky they really are.
I'm a broken man and there seems to be no way out of this hole that's been slowly getting deeper and deeper :(
Had a talk with Cascade tonight, she's a great friend. You and her are like family, and like family you rallied around me when I was in trouble, and that means more to me than you think. So thank you, both of you
