Mk so I’ve been dreading this post for a while but y’all deserve to know so here goes.
Ik I’ve been hella inactive and quiet about what I’ve been doing but the truth is I’m dealing with IRL anxiety + a workload and that’s really hard.
So far it looks like I haven't relapsed, so hurray I guess. But the downside is that my elevated white counts are third party (Not from Interstitial Nephritis & Uveitis (TINU for short)) which means I need to do more testing.
As pretty much all of you know, I've been goin' through a LOT of shit lately. I've made people feel bad, and I've lost a lot of people who were close to me. It seems fair that you all get an explanation, not to justify, but to simply show you where I am at.
I recently received a heart breaking medical diagnosis, and that's been really hard for me. I've been going through mood swings, and just been a horrible person in general.
Secondly, I've been working my ass off to try and get into a private high school for next year. I really want this to work out okay and I've been stressing a lot. None of this justifies anything, but I just want to explain why I've been acting like this.
Thirdly, I've also been getting a lot of PTSD flash backs, and it gives me a lot of loneliness and sorrow during those episodes.
In affect to these, I've made some really heartless decisions. I've lashed out at people for simply trying to help me, or support me. That makes me feel unbelievably horrible, and to all whom have been involved in that, I'd like to take a moment and deeply apologize directly.
In addition, I even (although not meant literally) expressed my wanting to hurt someone out of anger. None of this is okay, nor acceptable. I understand and accept all the friendships I've lost, and although it'd mean the world to regain those friendships, I do not expect it or feel entitled to regaining these, as once again I've put myself through all this.
This part is something I'm not exactly sorry for. I've also received a shit load of nasty comments, in which I've reacted quite poorly to. While I do regret the way I responded, I am not going to apologize for feeling badly about those comments. I am trying not to hold a grudge to anyone as a New Year's resolution, and I simply offer you the benefit of the doubt that you think before you act. Actions speak louder than words. Please don't let your thoughts of someone get the better of you.
A lot of this has made my mental health deteriorate rapidly, and I'm trying my hardest to get it under control. From here on out, I am going to personally force myself to remove myself from the community for the better of both me and everyone else until I can get under control.
I've realized life is too short to leave such a wonderful community after a few nasty comments. I'm working on forgiving each and everyone of you because as I said, life is too short to hold a grudge.
Aaron my guy, My DMs are Always open for a talk, if you need it. Especially for you. Seeing these past fews weeks you havent been yourself. If you ever need anyone you know where to find me
-Reddy xoxo
I’ve been gettin a lot of messages about this and no I am not leaving. I’m just gonna try and stay away when I feel things are getting heated in my life. For now everything is good. For those who were excited when they thought I left, sorry to burst ya bubble.
I'm taking a break. Sick of drama, sick of the stress its causing me. Whatever person finally takes the time to acknowledge that I do have a personality and feelings, good job. You know who you are.
Update -
I was recently diagnosed with mild sleep apnea, which is overall pretty scary (Considering you stop breathing for about half a second while I'm sleeping) - So, I'll soon be scheduling surgery number 4 to get my tonsils out, if anybody has had their's out, please tell me how your pain was during recover as that's my main worry.
\(ovo)/
i had mine out when i was younger n i don't remember the pain being too bad at all! i was in a musical at the time n i was able to sing again pretty soon after the op i think. but on the plus side u can use it as an excuse to eat loads of ice cream, perfect for soothing the throat! hope all goes well bud (:
Hey Aaron! it's milky, I don't think you remember me but we were friends back in 2017 or 18 when you were a little year 1 and now ur a big boi xD I have stayed year four throughout two years ik (sad times) but my old ign was Blixennightsky, unresponsivee, etc. just go on name mc and search my IGN maybe you'll remember me now (Well i hope this is the right person sorry in advance if it's not xD.
